….in terms of marital dollars?  hmmm, let’s see.

I love driving my husband’s car. It is thin and sleek and fast; just about everything I am not. Fredrick is an Audi S4 combining fun and ease with strong and safe.  (That sounds more like me.) Chip tends to drive the car more on the fun and easy side and less on the strong and safe side. Shocker.

I had been driving Fredrick for weeks and one day last week I suggested that he take it back and I’ll drive my own car.  So Chip leaves for work and a short while later I get a call from a voice that is both angry and self-loathing.

“I had an accident.  I hit the woman in front of me at a stop sign”.

“Oh my God, are you hurt?” I asked.

“No. I am pissed. I was looking down at my phone for one second and I thought I hit the brakes all the way but I didn’t and I rolled into her”, he sadly stated.

Moment of truth ladies as this could go either way: do I just hop on the “you’re an idiot bandwagon” or let him continue to beat himself up? Early on in our marriage when Chip would come home with speeding ticket after speeding ticket, I would total the amount spent on the fine (and sometimes the lawyer) and brashly spend that exact amount at Talbots or Macy’s.  Let’s just say I was very well dressed between 1990 and 2003.

What do I do now?  What is damage to an Audi worth? The dealership says just over $4000.00.  Yikes, I could do some serious damage with that amount, but I won’t. Not this time.  I’ll just get him where it smarts and poor Chip will be relegated to the family SUV for now. Maybe I could get him some Hush Puppies and a cardigan sweater to go with the family car.  I, however, may need some red nail polish and a new haircut.

No one was hurt in this fender bender and my new driver, Amelia, gets a ‘get out of jail free card’ for bumping the garage when pulling in my car. Please don’t read, text, email or anything else while you are diving and the car is in motion.  It could hurt in my ways that one.