Recently, a young mother was telling me about her day. What transpires in the 8-12 hours of awake-time with toddlers. How that magic hour of 7 to 7:30 pm finally comes around: bath time, kids in bed, Pinot Grigio is poured and ahhh. For me these days, when it is 7pm, Amelia is slinging coffee at Starbucks and Jack is on the river rowing. No ‘ahhh moment’, no smell of Johnson’s Baby Shampoo, no cuddle time and stories.
As I was folding her laundry, (sorry for this Amelia), I remembered the days of Barney underwear now turned into Victoria’s Secret. She once screamed for the Jonas Brothers, now she and her ‘male friend’ drove up to Dave Mathews for the concert. She checks voice mail and email and does some weird thing on Google with her suite-mates and floor mates as they prepare for RIT in the fall. No more parties at Jeepers, Check E Cheese or Mr. Twisty.
People have asked me for the past week or so, “Aren’t you going to blog about Amelia’s graduation?” I couldn’t. Not yet.
I don’t know what happened, or when it started to go faster but we went from learning to tie your shoes, to driving a car, to Pomp and Circumstance. I am in awe of Amelia and who she has become. That is why the tears fell when they called her name. Not solely because I would miss her but because of who she had become.
Is she feeling it too?
I feel the rope getting looser, the distance growing faster. There is nothing I can do nor do I really want to. I remember the summer of my senior year just before I left for school. Exciting, scary and fun all at the same time. I was pretty full of myself. Not that Amelia would ever feel that way, wink-wink. I’m sure my mother was feeling these same feelings of pending separation. What does it mean?
Will I wander aimlessly into her room and listen to the quiet?
An Italian mother does not want to face the finality so I am going to go with the ‘she’ll be back in the summer’ and we will get our nails done and watch the volleyball scene from Top Gun. She and Chip did chase down Mr. Ding-a-ling for a Sponge Bob ice cream with bubble gum eyeballs. Some things don’t change, thank goodness.
Will she ever move home again or is she now on the path of her life?
My house is still decorated with the cap and gown cut outs and banners in Nisky red colors. The cap and gown are folded on the dining room table along with the beautifully framed diploma and various letters of congratulations. Across the room is the beginning of the preparation for dorm life, bedding and gifts as we start Mom’s OCD checklist for move in day.
….and they’re off!
Amelia sees this blog and I know she reads it periodically. Please know Amelia that I love you and no mother is prouder. I am sad to see you leave behind your huge container of Goldfish crackers, 27 pair of flip flops, miss-matched socks, hidden laundry, discarded shampoo bottles and stray hair ties. I am excited to see you return next May a little bit wiser, a little bit stronger and I hope a whole lot missing your mom. Go get ’em Meals.
So bitter sweet seeing them go from toddler to college. Seems so far off but then you blink and they’re all grown! Lovely post.