(and so the gene pool passes on)

I have written many blogs about my husband, poor guy, and have either titled them, “Really Chip?”, or referred to “Really Chip?” within  a blog.  Jack is a mixture of my traits and Chip’s…sadly the gene pool is what it is and it is Jack.

Yesterday my phone rang I see the caller ID is the middle school.  I answer the phone and hear that voice with this story:

“OK Mom, so I sneezed 35 times in math class today. Lucas was counting them!  Anyway, I need to come home.  I think I am allergic to something here”. Really Jack? Go back to class, you’re fine.

It gets better. We go to the orthodontist and he forgets his retainer, tells Dr. Mike that he wears it all the time and can’t wait to have the braces put on in 4 months.  Really Jack? I could buy a Ford Focus for the money sitting in that little mouth, wear the retainer for God Sake! I pray daily that he does well in school, becomes the orthopedic surgeon he wants to be and puts me up in that little condo in Hilton Head so my poor old bones can avoid a cold Northeast winter.  Really Mom? that is the response I get from Jack. Wonder where he heard that from?

Today is Halloween and Jack decided last night he is trick-or-treating tonight with two friends.

“What are you going to be Jack?”

“A basketball player, Mom!”  Sorry. My bad.

Meanwhile Amelia comes downstairs this morning after conferring with her friend on what to be for Halloween.  They decide to go as Mary Poppins and the Chimney Sweep.  Amelia comes downstairs this morning in a black short mini skirt, black tights and a white shirt.  Really Amelia?  Mary Poppins must have changed since I was a kid….she looked like a puttana Mary Poppins… Ugh.

I miss the days of taking them out to ring doorbells and hear the ‘ooh and ahhh” of the people at how cute they dressed as a puppy, a court Jester or Ollie Rollie Pollie.  Someday, God willing, I will take my grandchildren out.  In the meantime, I will just roll with the flow and grin and bear the smell of sweaty boys and Axe tonight.  I am sure they will eat a 24 cut pizza, 5o wings and a tray of brownies.

All I want in return are a few Mallo Cups, yum-mo.

Happy Halloween.