The Jack Factor
Whenever anything is broken, missing or just plain odd, we chalk it up to my son Jack and the “Jack Factor”. Years ago, my grandmother used to read to me The Family Circle in Sunday’s comic section of the paper. They had a ghost called “I dunno know”, which in our house is the Jack Factor. For ease of reading, I have listed some of the Jack’s most famous incidents:
· When the gutters were not draining and we had water damage in the garage, I called the gutter company and they found 4 lacrosse balls in the gutters……The Jack Factor. (and $125 to clean the gutters)
· When I could see light coming directly out of the lampshade, I asked who cracked this shade and after a few “I dunno know”, Jack told the tale of the miraculously talented Time Warner clicker that actually jumped off the chair, in the air and back down, sadly, through my lampshade….. The Jack Factor. (and $80 for a new shade)
· When Jack and friends were playing outside, some game where they hide an object and look for it as a team, Jack decided to put, again, a lacrosse ball into the furnace intake valve……The Jack Factor. (and the estimate to get the ball out was astronomical!)
· When I heard a very odd, loud banging in the dryer, oh yes, say it with me, the cell phone and The Jack Factor….. (and the new phone was covered!)
· When I find toothpaste all over the mirror, the spout, the Kleenex box and I get “I dunno know”, I go into mother stealth mode and jump in the bathroom when he least expects it, to find him using the spinbrush at full speed on his retainer OUTSIDE of his mouth….. The Jack Factor. (and a ton of elbow grease to clean it)
I love my children and I pray that the old saying is true, “God keeps you from killing your children so they, in turn, have their own children and you can now watch the fun!