….for any Italian not to eat cheese or dairy.  Let me explain what has happened.

I have been experiencing some health issues and wanted to get some control over my activity and more importantly, my weight.  I am not what you would consider heavy but these 11.2 pounds have got to go. At the risk of a massive heart attack or pulmonary embolism during Karli’s spin class, I cannot increase my workout schedule further so I turned to what I eat.  Dairy is my favorite.  Anything dairy, but especially cheese.  If you recall, last year I gave up cheese for Lent and I was on the ragged edge by Easter morning.

I went to see a friend from the gym, Elicia.  She is a nutritionist and after I spilled my guts about what I eat and what my fitbit shows I burn in calories, she suggested a dairy-free diet.

“Explain that, ”  I asked.  “what do you consider dairy?” )Hoping and praying for divine intervention that cheese may be exempt.  NOPE.

So off we went with our little basket and began to look for alternatives to dairy foods. We visited cases and shelves of the market that I dared not ever ventured, nor will ever again.  Oh, did I mention low sodium too. Yupper, less than 5% per item.

None-the-less, I left the market with a bag full of adventure and a looming 14 days of dairy free existence.

Today is Day Seven and I had to have  a little ‘come to Jesus’ at my garbage disposal.  It was a fond farewell to Almond milk, almond yogurt and a Vegan cheese product that I cannot even begin to describe the taste or texture here.  If that is what Hell will feed me, I am about to examine my life a bit closer.   Here is what I learned these past seven days:

1. Milk is not gray in color, EVER, nor does it have a funky smell.
2. When trying almond milk in coffee, make sure you are near a sink for an emergency exit. (Yes, I spit it out like you see on TV)
3. Pizza with no cheese, when properly loaded with veggies, is really not bad.
4. Going to a crew banquet at Mallozzi’s on a dairy free diet leads to a vegetarian meal and tears shed over my husband’s chicken parm.
5. Dairy is everywhere. It is hidden in things you would not think.  Ugh, my colon is loving all the veggies, fruit and fiber.
6. Sodium is overloaded in everything else that is left to eat. I long for pickles and olive tapenade and a sushi with a smidgen of soy sauce.
7. Don’t even think of asking me if I tried Tofutti ice cream, cream cheese or sour cream.  I have to have some self respect and control.
8. Alcohol has not a stitch of dairy in it, especially a dirty martini.  (I overlooked the sodium level on the Dirty Sue bottle on purpose.)
9. Crying in public at the cheese counter, at Perreca’s or at Cappiello’s dairy is not socially acceptable.
10. And lastly, making out like you didn’t know there was dairy in it…..nice try!

I will keep on this path to betterment for seven more days.  I lost 2.1 pounds this week and the obsession for cheese and dairy and lovely latte (called the Angry Mama) from Starbuck’s is beginning to subside a bit.  Thank you Elicia for your help and support.  I have not cheated until this morning when after seven days without a cup of hot coffee, I added a single tablespoon to skim milk to my mug and I savored that cup like a death row inmate eating that last prime rib dinner.  Ahhh, it is so good.