I have been somewhat uninspired to write. It happens now and then. I have some good thoughts that rattle around and then they are gone. I got up my usual time this morning at 4:45am even though it’s Saturday. I laid there for a while as thoughts crept in and out of my head:
- FROM: Did it stop raining? TO: Oh my God, I should check the sump pump.
- FROM: Why did I eat that pizza last night? TO: I should check my BodyBugg to see how many calories I burned yesterday.
- FROM: (my usual) Why does my calf hurt so much? TO: I have a blood clot that will kill me in 48 hours. Take an extra aspirin.
I snuggled up to my husband to see if that would help me return to sleep. He is warm, but since menopause, I am warmer. Bad combo. My body temperature is now high enough to fry an egg on my forehead so I gently kiss his face and slide out my side of the bed. Cold feet on the tile return me to a comfortable 98.3 degrees.
Now sitting in my family room with the Christmas tree lights sparkling, I think about taking the tree down tomorrow. The pine smell is fading but he has held up for about a month. There are very few pine needles on the floor although I am sure I will step on one around mid-July in bare feet. That happens every year. The heat from this God-awful gas fireplace is feeling good right now and warming up the room. I am settled in….for what?
There is not a sound coming from anyone’s room. Even my pug Izzy is silent. She sleeps the best with Jack. Jack’s soul is deeper than the rest of ours put together and she knows it. Amelia is light and funny yet smart and grounded. Chip is, well, “Really Chip?” and I will say no more. But Jack is deep. He has an old, kind soul that makes him a good son, friend, boyfriend (ugh) and student. Oh, and for the record, dogs DO have a soul and they DO go to Heaven…sorry Sister Patricia.
Well, all the great thoughts I had upstairs in those waking moments are gone. Once again that evil witch Menopause has stolen them. One night last week, Jack and I were watching the news and the story was about menopause. The doctor said that studies have shown a link between menopause and memory loss, shocker. I could have told you that. Anyway, Jack asked me what menopause was. I explained how a woman gets older and her body changes, she can no longer have children, and Ralph (the name I call your period) stops. He asks at what age this occurs and I tell him between 40 and 55. He sits there for a minute and then says, “Oh My God. Amelia will be like this tell then?” I had to laugh because even at 13 years old, guys blame every mood swing or act of short temper on Ralph. It must be in their ‘manual’. I can tell you though, the ‘woman manual’ is a lot bigger!
When my friend Larry suggested that I should write a blog, its purpose was to be a cathartic release for me and it has been exactly that. Perhaps this short rambling today will get me back on track for 2013. Lent is looming over my head and the thoughts of no cheese for over 40 days is somewhat crippling. I think I will have pizza with extra cheese at Twin Trees tonight….yummy. That should get those creative juices flowing.