I hate to wrap presents.  I’ll just cut to the chase and say it.  I HATE IT and I am TERRIBLE at it.  Reason? No patience.

I wrap gifts with the very same amount of finesse that I have when I fold laundry, mow the lawn, vacuum a rug or paint a wall. Zero.

Now at age 50, you’d think I would be a pro. In college I worked retail, couldn’t wrap then either. When Chip and I moved to Syracuse, I took a job at a jewelry store working at night.  Chip was traveling and I was alone in town. (…ooh, that’s a story for another time.) Anyway, this wonderful old man bought a $10,000 diamond tennis necklace for his wife.  He asked if I could gift wrap it for him.  It took me 4 attempts before the manager came and wrapped it for me.  Some things don’t change.

Last week, we had a work holiday lunch and grab bag with my “Bajan Family”. Pressure:  I had to wrap the gifts. No problem, or so I thought, until today.  I was wrapping gifts for my “USC family” and realized that I wrapped the “Bajan Family” gifts in Hanukkah paper.  Dreidels were all over the paper. How did I, and the others miss that?  Perhaps they were so blinded by the horrific wrapping job that they did not have the heart to tell me.  I am so sorry.

Not to worry.  The extent of my holiday limitations continues with putting lights on the trees, both inside and out.  I wrap a tree with lights in an unorthodox manner.  If I run out of tree and I still have lights, I just run it back and forth until the lights are all on the tree.  Sweet?  Not so much.  When it is time to take the lights off, it is holy hell.

Baking.  Holiday time means cookies.  Now I have to pay attention and slow down.  No short cuts, no substitutions.  I clear everyone out and drag out that Kitchen-aid.  Turn on some Christmas tunes and hope for the best.  No one has yet to be poisoned or violently ill.

House decorated? Check.

Presents wrapped? Check.

Baking done? In progress.

Good supply of Prosecco and other assorted spirits? You bet!

Merry Christmas.