Webster defines the word adjustment as: the act or process of adjusting; a settlement of a claim or debt in a case in which the amount involved is uncertain or full payment is not made; the state of being adjusted; a means (as a mechanism) by which things are adjusted one to another or a correction or modification to reflect actual conditions.
Now that we have established how it is defined, let me share with you all the ‘adjustment’ experience I had at 5am this morning.
As I have stated numerous times, I take a spin class at 5:30am almost every morning. I get there by 5am to insure I get a bike. There are few cars there that early in the morning but most mornings there is a car there with the license plate Kasanova. (his spelling, not mine) Really, no lie. Being the curious soul I am and with the imagination I have, my image of Kasanova grew as he eluded me day after day.
This morning as I was pulling in, Kasanova was in front of me. OK, here it is. Out of this sedan stepped a very tall man with his gym bag in hand and ready for a work out. As he is closing his car door, in the direct line of my headlights, he “adjusted himself”. Not a small adjustment of the family jewels. the package, frank and beans, whatever you call it…I mean a major move…more than a shift.
Did he not realize I was there? Did he not know he was in full exposure of the LED lights of my Audi? Audi lights are so bright they could light a football field. Nope, confident in his move and swag he continued to do whatever it is guys do and proceeded into the gym to probably bench press 250 pounds. Mystery solved.
Not so fast. I must be a magnet for male wardrobe malfunctions and/or displaced parts. Yesterday at spin class, the man next to me was obviously troubled with his undergarments and could not get them settled down. Personally, at a point, you need to excuse yourself and get it together. After class we were talking about the calories we burned and the value of a heart rate monitor vs. a BodyBugg. I couldn’t look him in the eye.
Ladies, rarely do we have an exercise, either pre, during or post, wardrobe malfunction. If we do, we cover for each other incognito. Rule is when that sports bra starts to ride up or shift and ‘the girls’ are not supported…. out it goes; underwear (bloomies) are a matter of personal preference. (Zumba ladies, you know my take on this) I will not address that in mixed company. Gentlemen, if you have had your boxers since college, get rid of them. I hear compression boxers work wonders. You never know who has pulled up in a parking lot behind you, only to see you make an adjustment.