It’s the 13th of the month…I am behind in reviewing my previous month’s pledge and deciding what to work on this month. So let’s not.  Let’s just take this month to just “be”: no plan, no agenda, no momentous idea….so not like me.

It’s Mother’s Day. I am in my kitchen with my Kindle and a Iced Latte from Starbuck’s. Thinking about being a mom, I am blessed with two intelligent and beautiful (inside and out) children. (Does every mother say that?)

Amelia is bright and funny and sarcastic and although she does not look like me, she is me.  I love that.  Jack is soulful and deep and still a little boy at 12, hidden under all that LAX gear and the 4 slashing penalties from yesterday. They make me happy and crazed at the same time.  I guess that’s good. (Thanks for the 3-pointer Boo and the 2 goals Jack)

As I am writing this, I have to periodically pause a bit because I feel so emotional today, so heavy hearted.  Not bad or good, just heavy.  I have been that way for a few weeks without explanation.

Amelia and Chip are away in Mystic, CT for a basketball tournament. Jack came downstairs and gave me an ‘Aunt Adeline hug’ embarrassed to be too mushy but a did manage to get a Happy Mother’s Day out. Cool.

So I am left to just some Mom time this weekend.  I have watched the Hallmark and Lifetime channel as well as the movie, The Vow. I have cried until my eyes swell….chick-flicks with no commentary or pun from Chip or Jack.  Good.

I finished the first book in the trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey. My heart broke for the characters.  I found myself tearing up again. Odd how the plot can go from intense and embarrassing content to a form of love and romance. Maybe I just look for that in movies, in books and in life. 

So, I am going to put my Kleenex down, put on my big girl panties and go to Zumba this morning.  Jack and I may have to take a ride to Lakeside farm for a cider donut later. We earned it.

No agenda this month.  I will make the next 4 count as I come closer to that big 5-0.  I don’t fear it or worry about it.  I just don’t want to waste any of it either.