October is my birthday month. Yesterday, I had over 120 people wish me happy birthday. One-Hundred and Twenty! My phone began dinging at 1:18am (Amelia) and ended in the evening with my best friend Shelly singing Happy Birthday into my voice mail. At the risk of sounding trite, I was overwhelmed.
Then I started thinking that these crazy people seem to feel this way without all the hyper-critical scrutiny that I impose upon myself. Why is that? Why do we all see the flaws in ourselves, the hair out of place, that pimple on our chins? Not one person mentioned these things in their birthday well wishes. No one posted, “Hey Happy Birthday. Sorry your hair seemed so unruly this morning!”
On that note, let’s take a look at the past 9 months to see the list of items I have committed to improving. Below is a recap of this year’s monthly resolutions on my path to becoming less of a work in progress:
January: push-up challenge
February: take it slow month
March: time to just breathe
April: sit up straight
May: refrain from commenting on my husband’s terrible driving
June: I need to get fresh
August: Letting it be
September: It is what it is
Now October, while I am still a work in progress, is going to be deemed the month of self-acceptance. Let the games begin:
- Yesterday, I donated all those suits that no longer fit and all those skirts that zipped with a great deal of effort.
- I lost 1% of my body fat during this morning’s measurements. Not astronomical but a loss none-the-less.
- Two days in a row, I walked over 15,000 steps.
- Self-restraint stopped me from eating more than one chocolate covered cherry from the Chocolate Barn in Vermont. That was exhausting.
- My flat iron is turned up to 450 degrees and I will accept the fact that my hair will never be straight but it can be calm.
- I also accept the fact that I will NEVER, EVER look in the mirror for a rear view. No one should see that and I truly apologize to the ladies behind me in Zumba.
I don’t think Chip sees any of the things I see. I refrain from asking him, “Does this make me look fat?” so that our marriage will last another 26 years. He holds my hand in the movies, gets the car door for me and brings the groceries in from the car, along with about 100 other things he does every day. I think he accepts me, self perceived flaws and all. I know that I accept him, well, outside of a few things that fall under the category Really Chip?
Self-acceptance is not easy. I believe we all see a little something that we wished were different. Two weeks ago an old friend passed away. Pancreatic Cancer. I hired her many, many years ago and was so lucky to know her and her family via the animated stories she told. Pat was funny and bold and gruff yet with a heart of gold and drive like no other. I called her when I found out she was terminal. She spoke with such grace and acceptance. She said her time was limited and she was dealing the best she could. I sent her a few cards over the months and received a short letter of thanks in return. Typical Pat. Godspeed Patricia. No smoking in Heaven. I don’t think she will accept that!
Change what you can for yourself and accept everything else. Most of the time you are the only one who has an issue with it.