I thought quite a bit about this month’s resolution, but first, let’s review where we have been thus far:

January was the push-up challenge.  I went from 416 push-ups in January to 49 push-up’s in February.  The foot surgery was January 29th and I was sooo not inspired to do them. I am back in the saddle this month with 54 logged in under my belt so far.

February ‘s goal was to take it slow.  I am not quite sure what to say right now.  I am unsure I have the ability to take it slow.  My efforts were at about 60% and the outcome abysmal.  This is going to take some time, I’m not going to lie to you.  In February I did attempt to take three Zumba classes and slow was indeed the operative word. My upper body was movin’ like Pitbull but my legs were somewhere on the geriatric floor of Ellis Hospital.   It’ll get there.

March is the time to just breathe. I am 5 weeks post surgery with a few more weeks left to go. I am so damn antsy to move, spin, Zumba and God help me Adrean, even body pump! My slow down month alone did not motivate me to make the changes I needed.  There needs to be more.

The other day I was on a marathon conference call and was becoming somewhat agitated with the way the call was going. I can be controlling, I know, shocking right?  Then it hit me.  I do not have to respond right now. I do not need to react right now and I certainly do not need to be this agitated. I need to be a witness to the event.

Years ago I took a meditation class with a wonderful man who could not understand why I could not just be calm.  Just release all need to control and just breath.  “Be a witness to the event”, he would say. He explained that it is always best to step back and watch the events unfold giving you time to digest and respond appropriately. Watch the situation as if you are a witness. What would you tell the person in the event?  How would you tell them to react? Hmmm.

So this month, I am making an attempt to be that witness to my life.  I’ve been avoiding some situations that are unpleasant and hurtful and I am not ready to deal with. I am still digesting them.  I am taking this month to learn to think first, then speak.  To listen carefully and then decide how to respond.

No guarantees my friends but it is very much worth the efforts. That and maybe a little less Death Wish Coffee in the morning.